It’s time for the Good Girl to stop running your life.
You’re tired. You’re exhausted. You feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions at once. Everyone wants a piece of you, and all you want to do is have a moment to yourself. But even if you had that time, you wouldn’t quite know what to do.
You want to keep everybody happy. You’re afraid of people being mad at you. You struggle with what you actually want in your life, and you’re shackled to the idea that you have to be good and perfect to be loved.
It’s time to give the Good Girl a rest.
Wait… Who is the “Good Girl”?
As a woman or person socialized as a girl, odds are you’ve internalized the message that being “good” is what gets you success, love, safety and belonging. But checking everything off the checklist doesn’t guarantee a satisfying or fulfilling life.
The “Good Girl” is that voice inside your head that tells you that you’re “too much”…. and still not enough.
She’s a people-pleaser and a perfectionist, who gives and gives and gives ’til she has nothing left for herself.
She’s the part that dismisses your needs, whispering in your ear “you don’t really need that — that’s selfish.”
She’s the force that pushes you to work harder and accomplish more, until you are burnt out and resentful.
She whispers in your ear, telling you that you better not let anyone know what you really want, because that’s DEFINITELY too much.
She’s the one who has you convinced that if you’re just “good enough,” you’ll be taken care of and loved (and leads you into questionable relationships along the way.)
She’s the one that won’t let you off the hook if there’s even a chance you screwed up.
She’s the voice that says if you really bring your capacity, your power, your anger… then you’ll be alone.
Demanding that you be absolutely nice, well-mannered, modest, and selfless, the Good Girl paralyzes you with self-criticism, limits your power and potential, and stunts your capacity to learn new skills and habits.
She means well…. But she’s oh so wrong about oh so much.
Because the one thing that Good Girl doesn’t know how to be… is YOU, as a resilient, happy, full-grown Adult.
Introducing: The Good Girl Recovery Program
The Good Girl Recovery Program is six weeks, unlike anything else out there. We’ll look at how the Good Girl has shaped your life, and how she gets in your way. We’ll explore what you’re tolerating and start making space for what you really want. We’ll examine your relationship to “messy” things like uncertainty, self-confidence and setting boundaries. And we’ll create a personalized template for the kind of whole-hearted, complex, authentic person you want to be when you grow up.
Imagine that you could, just for a minute, stop doing all that work you do to keep other people happy.
Imagine you had:
A place to put down the load you’re carrying.
Tools to discover what it is you really want.
Time to focus on your own needs.
Explicit permission to not get it right.
Imagine being able to tell what it is you actually want.
Imagine doing things simply for the joy and pleasure that it brings you.
Imagine your life if it’s not about people-pleasing, perfectionism or being put-together.
The opposite of being a Good Girl isn’t a Bad Girl. It isn’t being a bitch. It isn’t being a rebel.
The opposite of a Good Girl is a lot like being yourself.
Except, you’ll be even more like you than you’ve ever been before. Free. Nourished. Joyous. Delighted.
Experience the relief that comes from not being what everyone else expects and finally getting to be yourself.
Getting Past “Good” Takes Guts.
Becoming yourself isn’t easy. For most of us, being a Good Girl has been a life-long endeavor. You have lots of practice being a Good Girl and not as much practice being yourself. That’s why the Good Girl Recovery Program goes for 6 weeks. Long enough to see real changes, but not so long that you’ll freak out and run away and not do anything about it all.
That’s Why We’re Doing It Together.
During the Program, you’ll get daily weekday online support from me, and also from your pals in recovering Good Girlness. We all get to be messy together. The online community is where you can turn to learn from others’ experiences. It’s a place where you’ll get cheered on when you take a big step, or when you tell the truth instead of swallowing it. It’s a place where your uncertainty and learning will be celebrated.
And, it doesn’t stop when the program ends. When you join the Good Girl Recovery Program, you’re a member for life. Which means you can ALWAYS turn to the group for support, whenever you want. And, you can re-take the 6 week challenge any time we offer it.
The course starts the minute you sign up. It can last for 6 weeks, or for a lifetime.
What You’ll Learn.
Before we even start, you’ll get your very first assignment, a tool that will help you see exactly what you’re tolerating by being a Good Girl, that will lay the foundation for everything that is to come. From there, we’ll dig even deeper.
Week 1 – Clearing Out the Bullsh*t
Being a Good Girl takes So. Much. Energy. In this module, we’ll get clear on what’s sucking your energy away, and how to get it to stop sucking. We’ll also look at:
- How to get all those people who are happy to tell you what you “should” be doing to shut the hell up.
- The true costs of being a Good Girl (It’s probably worse than you think.)
- The ways you’re screwing yourself over without even realizing it (and how to stop)
- The difference between being a Good Girl and being a Good Woman.
- How to identify your cheerleaders and get their support
- Your crucial first steps to recovering from Good Girl-ness
Week 2 – What You Really, Really Want
It’s all well and good to say you should listen to your heart. But how to tell what you truly want? In this module, you’ll uncover:
- The simple rule to tell if something is actually YOUR desire (or someone else’s)
- The secrets your childhood pleasures reveal about what you want now
- Your new role model that will guide you into the next phase of your life
- How to find and capture your Hell YES so that it can always guide you
Week 3 – Cultivating a Glorious Mess
Perfectionism is the enemy of being yourself. Often, we get so wrapped up in avoiding inadequacy, we lose access to our own power and creativity. In this module, we’ll explore:
- The trap of perfection and how to avoid it (however imperfectly)
- How allowing for a glorious mess leads to both success and happiness (What?!?!)
- The curse of the Too-Toos (too loud, too slutty, too smart…too much) — and how to shut THAT down, so YOU can open up
- Why it’s awesome when powerful women screw up, and how we should celebrate it (especially if it happens to you)
- The magic of the “Brat Box” (my secret for letting it all hang out, safely)
Week 4 – Your Body Is Your Own
As a human being, you get to say what happens to your body. But a Good Girl has been taught to go along with things happening that she doesn’t want. This isn’t your fault. In this module, you’ll find out how to:
- Embrace your body’s autonomy in a world that wants women to exist for everyone else
- Cultivate sensuality all over your life and fully feel pleasure in the moment
- Notice where shame or fear has you contract into yourself, and work with it, so that you can stay in connection with yourself.
- Practice embodied yesses and nos, so you can hear yourself say it out loud and proud
Week 5 – Letting In The Good Stuff
By this point in the program, you’ll be well on your way to all manner of good things coming your way. Now the question becomes, can you let it all in? As a baby, you knew how. It’s just about re-learning how to receive. In this module, you’ll discover:
- How you limit yourself from allowing yourself to have what you want, and how to stop
- Looking for love in all the right places — How to be loved in more ways than you’ve had before
- What expansiveness feels like in your body– and how to cultivate that, any time you need it
- What radical self-care is, and why it matters
Week 6 – Becoming A Grown-Ass Adult
After so many years of habitually being the Good Girl, she’s likely to creep back when you least expect it. In this module, you’ll get:
- Practices for maintaining your authentic You-ness
- Clues for when the Good Girl is taking over again
- Customized rituals for grounding into you “Grown-Ass Adult” (or “Great Woman”)
- Your personalized road-map for what happens next
Integration and Wrap-up Call
After 6 weeks of finding yourself, you’ll be seeing all sorts of big changes in your life. Time for some dessert! In this BONUS call, we will:
- Review of everything we covered and where to go from here
- Receive live Q&A and coaching on how to honor both your Grown Ass Adult and your Good Girl
- Share your wins, highlights and next steps
- Get bonuses, praise and cheers!
Hi, I’m Marcia Baczynski and I help women and the people who love them to overcome shame and get in touch with what they truly want – romantically, sexually and relationally – even if it’s off the beaten path.
I was raised a good southern girl, but I knew I had more to give the world than a life of pearls, sororities, and potlucks would let me.
For years, I battled the competing voices in my head:
Finally, around the time I was in my late 20s, I realized the answer was in my desire. My ACTUAL desires. Not what I was told I should want by the media that want to make me feel insecure so I’d buy whatever it was they were selling. Not in what the people around me would find easier to swallow or more convenient for them.
But in actually taking the time to notice, moment to moment… what is it I actually want?
::: How do I feel most loved?
::: What turns me on?
::: What makes me giggle?
::: What has me feel connected to the people I care about?
::: What inspires me and makes me feel like more is possible in the world?
::: Who do I (really, honestly) want to be?
::: What do I want right now, in this moment?
I started speaking up, tentatively at first, and then, boldly, about what I wanted. I invited others in to play with me. I learned to trust my inner wisdom. Over time, I became someone else.
Not a good girl, and not a bad girl.
I became myself.
A Grown Woman.
Since then, I’ve done stuff I never would have dreamed I could do.
I partied with rock stars in New York City and made friends with Olympic athletes. I traveled around the world in (exactly) 80 days, entirely by accident. I have spoken at conferences that include folks from Nancy Pelosi to Nina Hartley.
I have talked about sexuality, relationships, touch and consent, in all kinds of media, including on The Montel Williams Show, The Tyra Banks Show, Penn & Teller’s Bullsh*t, NPR, GQ, Marie Claire, People, Newsweek, Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, the Washington Post, the New York Post, and the San Francisco Chronicle.
Those are some of the “big” things, but just as cherished are the small moments. Holding my nephew and niece for the first time. Picking out the vintage typewriter I wanted. Falling in love, getting my heart broken (and being glad for it.) Moving to San Francisco, and knowing I was home. Opening up a journal and penciling in “#41” and thus continuing the writing habit I’ve had since I was 7.
It has been astonishing to see what has come out of me as a recovering Good Girl. What surprised me more is that not only did I like the version of myself that did all those things, other people did too.
“Marcia has the ability to take a negative problem – what’s wrong with me? why am I bad at this? – and reframe it in a positive light. She helped me focus instead on what *I* wanted out of dating rather than focusing on what I needed to be for other people.
She also provided me with some of the best advice I’ve ever had about dating: if you scare someone off by being you, you’re scaring off the right people! By pointing me in a new direction she gave me the tools that I needed to take responsibility for shaping my own experiences and ultimately my own happiness!”
~ Lisa McKeown, New York, NY
How It Works.
When you sign up for the Good Girl Recovery Program, you’ll get:
:: Access to the private Good Girl Recovery Program Facebook group. (aka “The Living Room”) This is where all of our recovering Good Girls hang out, whether or not class is in session. Get in on the community love! Share your goals, wins, experiences, and insights and be a part of other people’s growth, stories and successes.
:: Seven 75-minute webinars – LIVE and with interactive, real-time coaching (I’m not just gonna talk at you.)
:: Video and audio recordings of the classes (so you can listen over and over again)
:: Chat transcripts with all the rich resources and brilliant commentary from your fellow students.
:: Daily Group coaching. When class is in session, I will be visiting the Facebook group each weekday, answering your questions, and giving support.
:: Lifetime membership in the Good Girl Recovery Program group. You will be able to repeat the course when I teach it, stay active in the community, get coaching from me, listen to the latest curriculum recordings, and receive continual support for as long as you like.
:: A collection of my favorite resources, books, links, videos to continue your education and keep you inspired.
:: More bonuses that I’m still scheming up to surprise and delight you.
Sound good? It gets better.
The Good Girl Recovery Program includes the ENTIRE course with all six classes, and the integration call with me, the Facebook group, the unlimited membership AND all the other goodies…
The best part? The investment for this course is only $395.
It’s time to put down that psychic load you’ve been carrying. To experience the freedom of doing things for your own pleasure. To get the support you need to take that big step you’ve been wanting to take. To be celebrated in taking up space and listening to your needs.
The next class starts Sept 24th.
Calls will be on seven consecutive Tuesdays at 6pm PT / 9pm ET. The course is entirely virtual, so you can take it from anywhere, and all calls are recorded so you can listen again (and again!)
What happens after I sign up?
1. You’ll be taken to a screen that confirms your purchase and will give you instructions on what to do next.
2. You’ll promptly receive your registration welcome email that will reiterate your instructions.
3. We’ll get you added to Teachable and the Facebook group as quickly as possible.
Your questions, answered!
When will the calls be?
Call dates for this class are Sept 24, Oct 1, 8, 15, 22, 29, Nov 5.
All calls will be at 6pm PT / 9pm ET, and last about an hour and 15 minutes.
We record everything, so don’t worry if you have to miss some (or want to listen again!)
How much time will this take up?
We meet for an hour and 15 minutes each week during the program, and all the calls are recorded if you need to listen later. Each week, you will get a series of short exercises that will take about 30-60 minutes each. All exercises are optional.
More importantly, you do not have to do this program perfectly to get results. We start off the program by setting a goal of doing 40% of the work — explicitly undermining any tendencies to try to do it “perfectly.” Simply by building awareness of your “Good Girl” tendencies, you will start to see shifts in your life.
What if I don’t use Facebook?
The private Facebook group is 100% optional. All the core material is on Teachable and our live calls. Anything that I think is particularly important or referenced from the Facebook group will be posted to Teachable.
“Woman” is complicated for me / I’m trans / I’m non-binary / I’m not totally sure I identify as a woman. Am I welcome here?
The Good Girl Recovery Program is designed to create new narratives about what a woman can be, for people the world reads as a woman.
The Program is explicitly inclusive of cis women and trans women, non-binary folks who the world treats as women, and folks who are read as women but maybe feel ambivalent about that. It is not open to men (trans or cis). Gender is complicated! If you have further questions, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can figure out together if the program will help meet your needs.
What if I’m not 100% sure this is for me?
If 7 days into the program, you don’t think it’s the right thing to be doing, I’ll give you a 100% full refund.
Like many women, I found that many of my needs and wants (What? I’m even allowed to have those?) took a backseat to the needs and wants of the people I cared about.
Through Marcia’s insightful guidance and the support of the other women in the program, my mindset began to change. Things in my life that I hadn’t at one time realized were issues, started to improve, and I started to find my voice. Through the 6 weeks of the program, this voice became stronger and stronger. The exercises that Marcia provided were challenging and at times, the discussions that we had were emotional for me. We dug deep in order to overcome some thoughts and behaviors set within me for as long as I could remember. This program has given me the tools, the courage and the support to be a “Great Woman” as opposed to a “Good Girl.”
Today, I am taking more chances and living a happier, more authentic and more confident life. I directly attribute this shift in my life to all of the incredibly important work done in The Good Girl Recovery Program.
~ Jen Ramos, San Francisco, CA
“You know that situation when you’re not comfortable with the things you’re feeling, and you’re having feelings about having feelings? Marcia has a way of pushing the stop button on the tornado. I’m not sure how she does it, but it might be magic.”
~ Cass King, Vancouver, BC
“The difference between the me before starting this program and the the me after the GGRP is that I now totally recognize this panic as my Good Girl jumping in and trying to complete the GGRP “perfectly”- ha! Ya know, beautifully integrating ALL the lessons into my life (even being messy, but in this quirky, certain way) and just magically taking on all the qualities of my most revered archetypes and moving toward what I want in life and, essentially, doing it all seamlessly and with complete grace. 🙂 OH, Good Girl, you are tenacious! So, while I am not walking away from this program with my Good Girl completely reined in, I am walking away from this program with a new awareness of that GG voice, and with the tools to recognize it with compassion and interest, instead of judgement (most of the time 😉 )
Making a mess, doing things half assed, trusting that they universe is conspiring in my favor and opening up to receiving goodness are some of the main topics that really hit home for me. The concept of creating my own definition of “good enough” was also very powerful for me.
I think one of the greatest things about the program was experiencing it in a group setting. I learned SO much from what the other women in the group were sharing, and was inspired and comforted by the similarities and differences between our experiences with the material.
Thank you Marcia!”
~ Jasmiene Hamilton CMP, doula, nursing student/aspiring midwife
I took The Good Girl Recovery Program with the incredible Marcia Baczynski over a year ago, and it was a big game-changer for me. All those little nagging things that had been holding me back started to evaporate as I put into practice the easy, simple, radical tools I learned through this program — AND, I found that I have been able to continue applying these practices in my life on a regular basis, helping me find a lot more confidence, freedom, and the courage to pursue some of my heart’s deepest desires in life.
I highly recommend that every woman I know consider taking this course! You will find your life transformed!
-Mel Mariposa, Vancouver, BC
“It’s not just that Marcia is an incredibly creative and analytical thinker capable of engineering artful solutions in even the most precarious situations- although she most certainly is. It’s not just that she manages to combine bullshit-free practicality with radical generosity and compassion to give guidance that is useful, inspiring, and kind–even though she does that, too.
The thing that sets Marcia apart as a coach is the constant, unwavering permission and support she provides her clients (myself included) in finding and going for what we actually want–whatever that may be. I have never met anyone so devoted to empowering others to manifest their most honest and fulfilled selves in the world, or so capable of assisting in that process. Every brave choice I’ve made since working with Marcia–and every subsequent victory–has had her wisdom and encouragement at its center. I do not know where I would be without her, but it definitely wouldn’t be this awesome.”
~ Tatyana S. Brown, Oakland, CA
“I loved your direct but kind way, Marcia. I also loved most your skillful ways of showing ways to better communicate, the positivity you breed and the community we created over the few short weeks.
I found the way you led the group to be really productive and I liked the way you were able to redirect and stay on topic. Even though we were in a group, I loved the personalized attention (thank you for the letter mailed to me!!) on Facebook and during the calls. I really felt like you cared and wanted to get to know me and help out. That felt the most valuable.“
~ Stephanie Sky, Dancer & Wellness Coach 2017
Marcia Baczynski is a force of power in a world where women do what they’re told way too often. She consistently amazes me with her keen insights about people and her ability to conceive of unique ways that we can take bigger risks and relate to one another in an effort to create more authentic relationships. She has a wonderful blend of open heart, powerful communication abilities, and agile mind that can tease through a mess of confusion to get to the heart of what is really important in order for a person to grow.
I never hesitate to refer my clients, prospects and friends to her, as I know they’ll be met with a skilled coach who can take them far beyond their own perceived limitations. I recommend only the best and Marcia is one of the BEST! I couldn’t be more excited for the Good Girl Recovery Program. So many women will be changed by this powerful offering!
~Amy Jo Goddard, Women’s Sexual Empowerment Coach, Los Angeles, CA